The Fishing Widow

The skies darken the roar of distant thunder washes over the sounds of the whitecaps and the whistling winds running through the fishing lines. My cell phone rings, its Shari, my wife. “The storm is here, are you getting off the lake?” Where would we be without the care of our other half? Looking out for us, all the while hearing the wind static on the phone and our short answers to speed up the conversation and get back down to business. It’s time to do homage to our better half. The one who reminds us to balance our work, our family life, and fishing in balance.

Of course we are keeping a watchful eye on the storm while sea billows roll. We intently assess the situation by watching the RADAR, factor in our travel time in potentially bigger waves and maybe even the need to consider driving rain as the storm nears and the need to be off the lake where lightening is in dangerous range. We even assess what time it might take to hook and land that last salmon of the day and if that window of time should keep us from resetting that line to catch another. Sometimes an approaching storm front turns the fish on the feed and it can mean some amazing action.

From a charter captain’s perspective with clients on board, the anxiety increases ten fold and we absolutely take no chances. We manage our time and potential risk and “pull the lines” much earlier to ensure safety and comfort. These are the things that when not being in the boat with us, would not be understood from the perspective of looking out the window at home and with the phone in your hand against an ear. But knowing you have someone looking out for you is what’s important here.

Shari is my wife of seventeen years on September 28^th of this year and we were together for seven years before that. She knows full well that fishing is a permanent part of my life, a life passion that has been with me all my life. When she married me, it was understood that my flaw is that I come with “fishing baggage”. Fishing baggage that means extensive time on the water away from the house and the kids. To say it doesn’t come with arguments and misunderstandings, would be a lie. I continually work towards a work-life-fishing balance so she doesn't feel like a widow at home. There is a bit of leniency and sacrifice that takes place to make things work. From a place of poking fun at the situation, Shari- the wife of a charter captain- has jokingly call herself the “Fishing widow”.

All kidding aside, today I am sore and tired. Not because of a long day on the water, as a matter of fact we had to cancel our charter due to the weather. Instead, a friend in need meant providing an urgent helping hand. A mother of four kids trapped in domestic abuse from an alcoholic husband. A husband who felt drinking would fill the void in his life, that void which could instead be filled with a life passion like fishing. She required help to move belongings out of the house, while he was at work. The deadline for his return to home was imminent and the stress levels for the family were extreme. She was on the run from a very dire situation and potentially her life and the lives of her children. We assembled to help, we worked fast and hard and with heavy hearts. She was not widowed through the death of the deadbeat dad and husband, but the death of a peaceful marriage that required escape.

Sustaining a work-life-fishing balance lifestyle is not easy. Working all week at my day job, working every weekend on the boat and then pulled so many directions, it was clear that me and the family required break. ROAD TRIP!!!

In July a family two week long East Coast trip answered the need to balance things again. 5,000 plus km of driving offered us the views of New Brunswick, Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia. 37 years before, my parents did a very similar family camping road trip and it was my interest to see some of the very same sights now, almost 4 decades later. This Shari and I wanted to share this experience with the kids while they were at the perfect age to remember it for years to come.

Driving in Nova Scotia, we toured the south coast from Halifax to Lunenburg. Stops like Peggy’s Cove, Mahone Bay were planned but one particular location was that of Indian Harbour just west of Peggy’s Cove. A small campground called “King Neptune” was a location that I remember vividly as an 8 year old. The old fishing shack and dock to the little red fishing vessel piloted by the husband to Katherine (Kay). The included 1982 picture with the kids show my sister and I, along with two other kids from the campground, holding up the fresh catch of Halibut caught by Kay's husband.

Kay is now 97 years old and is a true Fishing Widow as here fisherman husband had passed away of natural causes. When we pulled into the campground I explained to Kay’s son (who now watches the campground) that I was only stopping in to gather the views and conger up those 37 year old memories. Of course he was welcoming and showed us to the yellow house that still appeared original and standing the test of time. We knocked on the door and approached the screen door a 4 foot 10 inch woman to welcome us in. We intended only to say hi, but Kay insisted that we stay for cookies and conversation.

Soon we were talking more than just names and where we were from. Laughs and thoughts were shared with how the campground has historically remained the same, yet gained popularity and with worldwide attraction. She showed here notebook of years of logs noting the number of campers from countries around the world. Surprisingly the country (outside of Canadian campers) of Germany was the highest count of campers. The campground is full most of the summer which was not the case when we were camping there 37 years ago.

Kay also shared how the Swissair Flight 111 MD- 11 crash impacted the campground in 1998. 229 people died and King Neptune Campground became the command centre for search and rescue efforts. She explained that there were some 30 men stationed at the campground rotating shifts out to sea. The men were provided rations of sandwiches and soup for each meal. When Kay heard, she stated with importance that she would have none of this. Instead she sat 21 men plus family and friends to a quality wholesome East coast cooking. Hospitality of a Bluenoser is like no other!

Kay also opened up a photo album that showed various pictures of the campground and life of Indian Harbour. Many pictures were of her husband, at the fishing shack, on red fishing boat, and with the catch of the day. Kay outlived her husband, but her spry spirit and hospitality showed that being a fishing widow isn’t the end of her story and

she provided a welcoming way for me to reconnect to a special place as a fisherman and as a person whom wishes to treat people as we like to be treated.

We joke around and poke fun with the words of “Fishing Widow”, but in life we are all in this together. As I continue to learn and strive to create work-life-fishing balance, I can see it has helped strengthen our family. Fishing as a life passion fills your soul with peace and happiness in a world that can otherwise be mean. When all is well with your soul, you can weather the storm, have empathy for others in need, and give generously no matter how many mouths to feed.